what to do,what to hope..?

"i ve never been so flowing-with-the-air in my life.
like,as long as i enjoy the days,as long as i know a lil bit about what i m gonna do in the future
i just let it flow,never worrying n never complaining.
i love living this way.
some time in my life i found one true love and when we seperated because of sumthing severe,it was the turning point in my life.
where all things on earth became so obvious,without mercy and caring.
the world is just fierce,like a war battlefield
never in my life i saw the world that way
and never did a person affect me so much
and some time after that,i decided what's best for me is to stay away from that LOVE.
that s the beginning of my tough days.
i was ambitious and not caring,numb.
goal-oriented girl as i always think of cool.
and then when everything became so in place..
i was bllissful with family and friends beside.
i was happy with my life and going to do better and better.

but life goes on and sometimes takes rest
that LOVE comes again in my life and i take a pace slow
i start reviewing my life and believe what happened was the best.
but i decide to embrace this lil time and chance
to indulge myself in this,for a moment
though i know this is the love i never have,and it may allways be like that in the future.
but i still want to."